Making Sense of 2011 (I)

Lessons, realizations and enlightenment I have gained this year:

• I’m an oddball that fits nowhere.
• Joy and contentment is both strangely elusive and innate deep within.
• There is no shame in admitting one’s utter stupidity and foolish mistakes.
• Sometimes, a u-turn is the only way back to the right path.
• Some people are just bodoh, sombong (dumb and arrogant) and beyond redemption.
• Age and experience is not synonymous with wisdom and respect.
• A supportive spouse is invaluable and is deserving of one’s utmost love.
• There are no off-days in parenthood.
• The Filipino Badjaus got it right in childraising.
• God is a sick Almighty who plays wicked games for no apparent reason.
• Durians can cause fever and sorethroat.
• Painkillers are a Godsent.
• Music from the 90s rocked.
• There comes a stage in life where everything is just crap and crappy.
• South Park was spot-on about the above.
• There is no poetic justice, except when it’s all a conspiracy.
• The road to hell is laden with good intentions.
• Never ever be fat in this lifetime or the next.
• The Wiggles are actually quite entertaining and not gay.
• There will always be ‘another hurdle, another milestone’ in life.
• Malaysia is screwed, regardless of whatever and ever.
c Read more!

Good riddance, bozo!

Dear Sam,

Greetings from across the South China Sea.

I read with great laughter and self satisfaction that you have been demoted and evicted from your office for corruption.

I hope you will now be a good MO and wear your neck tie and lab coat and 1Malaysia badge wherever you go, even if it is splattered with blood and bile.

You really never knew how lucky you were, to be in a position that you were not deserving of.

In a different country, under a different system, you would most likely not even make it to medical school, what more hold a high office in a tertiary hospital.

Writing any more would be a waste of my time.

Enjoy your new salary scale, bozo.

Bye.

POTS. Read more!

An Open Letter To MCA

To the party known as MCA,

Please fade away. Please die.

Your recent annual general assembly has convinced me that there is not an ounce of integrity or worth left within the MCA.

As a Christian by conviction, I have been reminded not to cast the first stone as when Jesus Christ forgave an immoral lady instead of condemning her to death for adultery.

However, the lady caught red-handed in an amorous moment did not leave boasting about her sins and flaunting about like a peahen.

Conversely, your president vehemently claimed that his only mistake in his sex scandal was to ‘use the same hotel room every time’.

His audacity to proclaim himself a ‘winnable candidate anywhere’ is nothing short of disgusting.

Even the commercial sex workers of Bukit Bintang have a sense of shame.

The same cannot be said about your current president.

At a time when families are breaking up due to the dearth of men with integrity, the MCA president is setting a very poor example to the men of Malaysia.

I move on to your other present crop of office bearers.

For as long as I could remember, the post of Health Minister has always been under the MCA.

From Chua Jui Meng to Chua Soi Lek and now Liow Tiong Lai, can MCA boasts of any real achievements in Malaysian healthcare?

Save for the newer hospitals , most of our general hospitals are a disgrace to the much-sung Malaysia Boleh slogan.

If the Health Ministers of MCA had more sincerity in serving the people rather than the interest of their UMNO political masters, Malaysia could have measured up to the healthcare in the Lion City which by the way, is the choice of frustrated Malaysian doctors.

What we have now instead is a messy healthcare system mired in corruption and inefficiency, one that is bereft of respect for the sanctity of human life.

It is utterly clear to me that the MCA does not have the interest of Malaysians at heart.

Your office bearers like the corrupted generals of Chinese dynasties past are only there to enrich themselves and build dynasties of their own.

Do you really think Malaysians, ranking numero uno in Facebook usage would truly believe that the Cuti-cuti Malaysia Facebook page is worth RM 1.8 million?

That figure of course, pales in comparison with the RM 12.5 billion PKFZ scandal in which the central figure is none other than former MCA president Ling Liong Sik.

One of MCA’s great boasts is that of the Tunku Abdul Rahman College and University.

Stop.

If MCA had successfully stood up and fought for a just and equitable higher education system, there is no need for the existence of these two college that are essentially profit-making private entities.

Far from being symbols of pride and glory, the TAR institutions are a concrete testimony to the cowardice, greed and pretense within MCA.

The DAP may not be as well endowed as MCA but at least the Rocket is not afraid to speak up when injustice and atrocities are committed by your big brother UMNO.

The deaths of Teoh Beng Hock, Kugan, Amirulrasyid and Bersih supporter Baharuddin Ahmad under suspicious circumstances demanded a unified voice of reason that transcends ethnicity and political ideology.

I hear the voices of the Pakatan Rakyat coalition loud and clear throughout, whenever our rights as Malaysian citizens are under threat and abuse.

However, it is the silence of MCA and other UMNO lackeys that are most deafening.

For this simple reason alone, it is enough to say that MCA is indeed irrelevant to the ordinary Malaysian.

In times such as these, Malaysians need heroes and warriors, not running dogs to a fascist ethnocentric regime.

Dear MCA, enjoy your seven hired beauties while you still can.

You are after all, on your deathbed.

Regards,

Product of the System. Read more!

Utusan Untuk Encik Roslan bin Abdul Shukor / A Message For Encik Roslan bin Abdul Shukor

“Kamu budak Cina dan India jangan sombong. Jangan ingat kamu hebat dan pandai sangat. Rekod jenayah polis – yang merompak, yang membunuh semuanya Cina, yang menculik, yang rampas kereta semuanya India. Melayu – satu pun tak ada. Kamu jangan fikir kamu punya agama bagus sangat, ini Tanah Melayu, ingat baik-baik.”

Wahai Encik Roslan bin Abdul Shukor,

Begitulah bunyinya kata-kata cikgu sewaktu saya di Tingkatan Satu.

Cikgu mungkin lupa memandangkan insiden tersebut sudah begitu lama.

Namun, saya tidak.

Saya ingat, saya ingat dengan jelas sekali.

Begitukah kelakuan dan pemikiran seorang guru disiplin sekolah kebangsaan?

Begitukah cara cikgu mendidik dan membimbing budak-budak mentah?

Pernahkah cikgu berfikir tentang kesan dan ekoran kata-kata kamu yang begitu menghasut dan penuh kebencian?

Sebenarnya dan sememangnya jelas sekali, kamu sebenarnya tidak berminat untuk memantapkan sifat berdisiplin dalam sanubari pelajar-pelajar kamu.

Kamu hanya berminat untuk mematuhi arahan tuan kamu iaitu Pemuda UMNO.

Kamu hanya bertujuan untuk memastikan kami yang berkaum bukan Melayu akan senantiasa akur pada konsep dan bohong Ketuanan Melayu.

Itulah sebabnya kamu begitu jelasnya berat sebelah dalam keputusan dan tindakan kamu.

Namun, kamu bodoh dan rabun jauh.

Minta maaf la sekiranya kata-kata saya kurang sopan tetapi kebenaran tetap kebenaran.

Kamu tidak pernah berfikir dan mempertimbangkan kemungkinan pelajar-pelajar bukan Melayu yang dulunya diracuni propaganda UMNO kamu akan kembali menghantui kamu sebagai doktor pakar perubatan dan pembedahan.

Ya, cikgu – saya bukan dalam kejahilan.

Cikgu Roslan yang dulunya begitu sombong dan penuh perkauman kini diserang pelbagai masalah kesihatan.

Saya juga sedia maklum bahawa Cikgu Roslan tidak lama lagi perlu menjalani rawatan dialysis.

Jangan bimbang cikgu yang tersayang, saya sebagai doktor tetap akan memberikan rawatan yang sewajarnya.

Saya hanya berharap, sewaktu kamu terpasang ke mesin dialysis untuk empat jam tiga kali seminggu, kamu imbas semula kata-kata kamu yang penuh kebencian dan insaf dengan seikhlas-ikhlasnya.

Sebagai penganut Kristian, satu agama yang pernah kamu caci dengan sewenang-wenangnya, saya memaafkan segala kesalahan kamu, termasuklah semua perkataan dan tindakan kamu yang penuh kebencian kepada kaum dan agama saya.

Walau bagaimanapun, ingin saya luahkan isi hati saya yang mungkin terpendam dalam minda rakan-rakan saya di Tingkatan Satu dulunya itu.

PADAN MUKA, ENCIK ROSLAN.

PADAN MUKA KAMU.

Yang Ikhlas,

P.O.T.S


Translation:

“You Chinese and Indians, don’t be so cocky. Don’t think you are so great and brilliant. Police records show – armed robberies and murders are all committed by Chinese, kidnapping dan hijacking are all by Indians. Malays, not even a single one. Don’t think your religion is so great – this is Tanah Melayu – remember that.”

Dear Encik Roslan bin Abdul Shukor,

Those were your words back when I was in Form One.

You may have forgotten them since they were so long ago.

I have not, however.

I remember them well, very well in fact.

Are those the appropriate words of a disciplinary master in a national school?

Is that the way to teach and guide innocent children?

Have you ever thought about the consequences of your hate-filled words of slander?

Actually it is clear and obvious even then, you were never interested to enforce discipline among us students.

You were only concerned about fulfilling the wishes and directives of your masters in UMNO Youth.

Your only intention was to ensure that us non-Malay kids would forever subscribe to the falsehood that is Malay Supremacy.

That is why you were always biased in your decisions and actions.

However, you were stupid and short-sighted.

I bid a casual sorry if my words are blunt but the truth needs to be told.

You never weighed the possibility that your previous non-Malay students previously poisoned by your hatred and racism would one day return to haunt you as physicians and surgeons.

Yes, indeed Encik Roslan – I am not in the dark.

Cikgu Roslan the previously arrogant and racist bastard is now afflicted with multiple health problems.

I am also aware that your kidneys are now failing to the extent that you will require dialysis soon.

Don’t you worry my beloved teacher – as an ethical doctor I will still offer you the appropriate treatment.

I hope that when you are connected to the dialysis machine for four hours three times a week, you will remember your hate-filled words of yesteryears and repent with sincerity.

As a Christian, a religion that you criticized at your whims and fancy, I forgive you for your wrongs – even those that were filled with hatred towards my ethnicity dan spiritual beliefs.

Nevertheless, allow me to express something which has been entrenched in my mind and those of my then Form One classmates.

SERVE YOU RIGHT, ENCIK ROSLAN.

SERVE YOU RIGHT.

Regards,

P.O.T.S Read more!

Write to Thelma, not POTS

Dear POTS,

I write because I have been told that you can help.

I have been told that you have ways and means to eventually get things done your way, even bypassing the State Health Department and preventing the promotion of a HINDRAF-like character to the post of hospital director.

I am currently working with a 40-year-old MO. She is arrogant, rude and utterly stupid in terms of medical knowledge.

She shows no compassion to patients and sucks up to the boss for protection.

I try my best to practise evidence-based medicine in order to do justice for the patients under my care.

She on the other hand, practises opinion-based medicine.

Needless to say, her opinions are as good as that of a chronic MO who has tried but failed her specialty examinations.

I am outraged at the nonsense care that the patients are receiving under her care.

We even quarrel publicly in front of house officers and patients.

Please advise.


With warmest regards,

SICK OF P.I.S


Dear SOP,

I wonder why you write to me and not Thelma.

Thelma offers much better advice, especially in sensationalized sexacapes of horny Malaysian men.

My reputation is overrated - I did make life hell for a college warden back in 6th College, University Malaya by putting her ugly face on Friendster.

Apart from that, I have no great tales and achievements to boast of.

You must have mistaken me for a close friend of mine.

Anyway, I honestly believe that this monster of a colleague is not worth your time and calories.

Malaysia unfortunately, is full of such characters – people who should never have been doctors and could never have been doctors under a different system.

Do not argue with this 40-year-old spinster – you are merely wasting your saliva.

The hardest thing to change in this world is a person’s character and if I were you, I would not even try to.

Your colleague is probably suffering from low self esteem for reasons that are obvious – her failure to pass examinations, her ageing body, free-falling stock value and impending menopause.

I can give you ideas on how to play mean pranks on your enemies and make their lives miserable but that would not solve your differences with her, wouldn’t it?

Furthermore, I am trying to turn over a new leaf and just be at total peace and calm, not unlike an ostrich with its head in the sand.

You can write to the Malaysian Medical Council if you think your colleague is professionally incompetent but from personal experience, I think your time would be better off spent flying kites and watching paint dry.

I am sorry if I were not of much help.

Sincerely,

POTS

P/S: What is P.I.S? Read more!

Peace Be Unto You.

Delirious?: Majesty (Here I Am)



Here I am humbled by your Majesty,
Covered by your grace so free,
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man,
Covered by the blood of the Lamb,

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since you laid down your life,
The greatest sacrifice,

Majesty, Majesty!
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty handed, but alive in your hands,
Majesty, Majesty,
Forever I am changed by your love,
In the presence of your Majesty,

Here I am humbled by the love that you give,
Forgiven so that I can forgive,
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire,
Sanctified by glory and fire,

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since you laid down your life,
The greatest sacrifice. And here is the rest of it. Read more!

“Bagus lagi masuk hutan”

I attended to an emergency yesterday.

When things were more calm, an old couple came up to me and enquired about a relative’s whereabouts.

“Doktor, boleh tanya, di mana si Maziah bt Ahmad (not the patient’s real name)?”

I asked a few questions and shortlisted the patient’s possible locations.

“Tunggu ah, saya bantu telefon”

I actually found the patient at first attempt.

The achievement was uncannily more uplifting than reviving a corpse.

“Mari, man, ikut saya..Sekarang masuk Hospital Queen macam masuk hutan, susah mau cari saudara kau.”

“Bagus lagi masuk hutan, doctor. Sekurang-kurangnya di hutan, saya pandai cari jalan,” was his reply.

Sums up the shitty state of healthcare in Sabah doesn’t it? Read more!

An Open Letter to Health Minister II: Rumah Sakit Yang Sakit

Dear Yang Berkhidmat Liow Tiong Lai,

Mr. Wong, an elderly man presented at Hospital Likas because of severe breathlessness and was found to have severe pneumonia on chest x-ray.

He was then admitted to the High Dependency Unit of Queen Elizabeth Hospital (QEH) 30 minutes away for treatment.

He improved after six days and was then transferred to the normal ward for further recuperation.

A bed was urgently needed one day later and the frail Mr. Wong was then shipped off to Hospital Bukit Padang for ‘rehabilitation’.

Alas, he did not improve but instead deteriorated.

As Hospital Bukit Padang was devoid of the necessary equipment and setup for managing emergencies and ill patients, Mr. Wong was then resent back to QEH for further management.

More tests were required and old Wong was then sent to Sabah Medical Center for a CT scan.

I’m not sure what happened to Mr. Wong thereafter.

Dear Minister,

I hope this short story did not catch you in an awkward moment as the infamous video did to your amorous predecessor.

I hate to interrupt you in the midst of your personal battle for self preservation in the increasingly irrelevant political party called MCA but the healthcare crisis in Sabah has just taken a turn for the worse.

The locals in Sabah refer to hospitals as ‘rumah sakit’ - translated literally to mean a ‘sick house’.

Increasingly, the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, the only tertiary referral center in Sabah is living up her grand title of being a sick house.

Partially shut down since September 2008, the ailing sick house of Sabah has turned critical recently, with worsening cracks and falling tiles and a real threat of frank collapse.

The older blocks nearby were declared unsafe and subsequently evacuated and shut down.

Ill and frail patients were shipped off in a frenzy like unwanted cargo to nearby centers like Hospital Bukit Padang the mental institution, Hospital Likas, and the makeshift hospital of Lingzhi Museum in Kepayan and of course, UMNO’s favourite Sabah Medical Center (SMC).

Mr. Minister of Health,

The formation of the Queen- SMC-Likas-Lingzhi-BukitPadang medical maze has brought total chaos to healthcare services in Sabah.

The docile and unassuming Sabahan patients are constantly playing a wicked game of musical chairs, being transported around from one hospital to another according to their changing healthcare needs.

There is not one single center that can address a patient as a whole.

A lady in labor will be told that she can’t do so in QEH, while a fitting patient are whisked away from Likas to QEH.

A child with a broken limb may go to SMC but the surgery can only be done in Likas.

Elderly Mr. Wong is merely one of many such victims.

Continuity of care is virtually impossible when patients are moved about every few days.

Valuable investigations and data are lost in the process of multiple transfers resulting in costly, repeated tests.

Patients have even died due to the lack of emergency equipment and the deficient setup at the peripheral wards.

You will not hear all these because your little pharaohs in the state health department have done a great job concealing negligence, mismanagement and sheer stupidity.

Medical personnel are suffering in silence too.

Doctors from house officers to specialists are rushing around the five medical centers daily, wasting precious time, fuel and energy in the process of doing so.

Medical officers have been doing eight to fifteen on-calls every month as a result of the increased locations housing the sick.

That is fifteen days away from home and family every month, mind you.

Just in case you forgot we too have young, growing kids to care for.

Absent parents do not make for good family dynamics, won’t you agree?

We are risking our lives each working day wondering if the abandoned tower block will one day collapse upon us and send us to our Maker.

Our comrades serving in Sabah Medical Center are not having it any better.

In spite of the Barisan Nasional’s grandiose publicity buzz over the RM 245 million purchase of Sabah Medical Center, the medical personnel and patients have remained mere squatters in the premises.

The medical staffs are receiving summonses so very too often as a result of limited parking space.

Those of us in surgical disciplines are working till 9 pm on Mondays to Fridays so as to optimize the operating time of our three miserable rented surgical theatres.

In the SMC wards, 4-5 patients are cramped into rooms meant for two as the hospital was built to house a capacity of 150 beds only.


Mr. Minister,

My colleagues and I cordially invite you to come and see the ground situation for yourself without a grand entourage of administrative boot-lickers.

Patients who require hospital admission have to be turned away due to the insufficiency of places.

The inpatients meanwhile are packed like sardines in the current wards, with hardly a metre of space between beds.

The situation is comparable to a Vietnamese refugee camp.

Hospital-acquired infections are the norm rather the exception.

When a patient with tuberculosis coughs his lungs out, everyone in the ward will be inhaling the highly infectious Mycobacterium.

After 50 years of independence, our ill patients who require close observation are still sharing monitors and other equipment between themselves.

Is this the standard of care that Barisan Nasional is according to Najib’s self-proclaimed fixed deposit?

Whatever happened to all the oil money that Sabah has generated for Tanah Melayu over the last 50 years?

So you see, Mr Health Minister, we don’t need more jobless house officers, more empty promises and more tasty slogans like 1Malaysia.

We need 1Hospital and 1HealthMinister who is attuned to the sufferings of the rakyat under his care.

Do and be all that even though Sabah will most likely hand Barisan Nasional another landslide victory come next general election.

With warmest regards,

Product of the System. Read more!

Childhood Dreams And The Reality Of Adulthood II: The Prodigal Grows Up

Thought you had all the answers,
To rest your heart upon,
But something happens,
Don't see it coming now,
You can't stop yourself,
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep.
In the deep.
- In The Deep, Bird York, 2006

Her last words to me were to take care of him, not to bully him but to look out for him.

My last words to her were unbelievingly bitter and insensitive, uttered with implosive hatred and stupid teenage anger.


The years in our walk of life rush by faster than we know and would allow them to.

We lose the people we love before we’re ready to, and usually at a time and age when we need them the most.

We sincerely want to repay the generosity and kindness we’ve received in life, and yet our struggles with daily survival get in the way.

Before we know it, something happens to the ones we love.

We are left helplessly lost, stuck and stranded in a place far and away.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles,
Till you let go,
Till you shed your pride,
And you climb to heaven,
And you throw yourself off,
Now you're out there spinning...
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.

It’s yet another sleepless night in the clinic, not because it was busy but because insomnia has trailed me here as well.

I counseled an asthmatic, drained a thigh abscess and reassured and anxious father, among others.

He called me up but I was not free.

The disappointment in his voice was palpable.

I promised to call back and I did so but reached his voice mail instead.

This cycle has been going on for quite a while now.

Our days of swimming and getting sunburn are gone now, the silly drives past funeral parlors at night also.

I won’t forget his tears when I left home to serve needy strangers across the South China Sea.

His phone call on my first day here were desperate pleas to come home.

I’ve saved strangers and relieved much pain here.

I could not mend his betrayed trust though.

What’s the point of saving strangers around you when your own loved ones are in pain and emotional distress?

In the silence,
All your secrets will raise their worried heads,
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
To who you thought you were.
Now you're out there living…
In the deep.
In the deep.

Have I made inroads in my medical career so far?

Yes, and quite certainly too.

Perhaps even to the envy of some senior colleagues.

Am I appreciative of the opportunities I have received in life?

Obviously and so much more reason to fight for social justice and greater equity for the poor and downtrodden.

Do I realize that I am greatly and wonderfully blessed?

Definitely and with great thanksgiving to the Almighty God.

Can I blame anyone anywhere for the mess that I feel I have created?

No, the prodigal has come of age but remains a prodigal still.

To my loved ones whom I left behind, I am truly sorry.

Now you're out there spinning...
Now you're out there swimming...
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep...


Read more!

Childhood Dreams And The Reality of Adulthood

I haven't seen your face around
Since I was a kid
You're bringing back those memories
Of the things that we did
You're hangin round
And climbing trees
Pretending to fly
D'Yer wanna be a spaceman
And live in the sky

- D'Yer wanna be a spaceman, By Oasis, 1994.

I had a long chat with a colleague yesterday, someone I do not meet regularly or even call up occasionally.

We went through housemanship together where we endured the nags and outbursts so commonplace in obstetrics and gynaecology.

Our paths had hardly crossed since then.

Life is such that there will be those whom we meet everyday but find little in common, and then there are those whom we meet once in ages and still realize we have much that we share in thoughts and views.


“POTS, do you realize that the more we progress in our medical career, the less option we seem to have?” he said.

His statement reminded me of the 1994 hit song by the now-defunct rock band Oasis.

It was also a stark reminder of how far I and We and probably most of us have strayed from our original passion and childhood dreams.

At the height of my STPM exams, I kneeled and prayed and ask God for a shot in medical school.

The enthusiasm of doing missionary work in wretched nations torn by war and strife was burning within me then.

In the final years of medical school, I made grandiose plans to sit for the USMLE, PLAB or AMC exam, or all of them, hoping to make groundbreaking contributions in healthcare and medicine.

Now all I want to do is to make money and provide a comfortable life for my family.


You got how many bills to pay
And how many kids
And you forgot about
The things that we did
The town where we're living
Has made you a man
And all of your dreams
Are washed away in the sand

- D'Yer wanna be a spaceman, 2nd verse, Oasis, 1994.


I looked through some old photo albums of the family not too long ago.

At age 16, my dear father cycled from Batu Gajah to Sitiawan as part of his criteria of attaining the King Scout award.

Last year at age 60, he spent Christmas playing Solitaire on his desktop.

I am sure he has dreams and wishes somewhere deep within him but if he had any, he isn’t expressing them.

I wish he would, because I would do anything to see them come true.

My sister the high achiever can achieve anything she put her heart and mind into.

Somewhere between graduating summa cum laude from university, one rocky marriage and a few tyrant bosses, her dreams of revolutionizing the Malaysian healthcare system from within the system went up in flames.

Out of civil service and with two young children now, she’s content just being a responsible mother and peace-making wife.

Well it's alright
It's alright
Who are you and me to say
What's wrong and what's right
Do you still feel like me
We sit down here
And we shall see
We can talk
And find common ground
And we can just forget
About feeling down
We can just forget
About life in this town.

- D'Yer wanna be a spaceman, Chorus, Oasis, 1994.


My friend from secondary school days, Lee had this to message me the other day:
“Sometimes I feel like giving up on job, God, girl and all.”

It was a message one would never have expected from him, a person more fondly remembered to be the life of the party and a genius in his own rights.

These days, Lee sends me hollow, single-worded replies in SMSes.

I still think he’d one day be a successful paediatrician, but for now he is another dejected soul guessing over the life that could have been if he had left for Singapore after STPM.


It's funny how your dreams

Change as you're growing old
You don't wanna be no spaceman
You just want the gold
All the dream stealers
Are lying in wait
But if you wanna be a spaceman
It's still not too late

- D'Yer wanna be a spaceman, Final Verse, Oasis, 1994.

Someone very dear to me has all but given up her dreams of cruising the open seas and opening a kindergarten.

She spent a large period of her youth caring for an ill mother, and thereafter poured in a tremendous amount of effort rehabilitating patients incapacitate by stroke and Alzheimer’s disease.

Now stricken by endometriosis, she’s spending a great sum just trying to get pregnant.

Her self image has taken a blow, especially when she’s surrounded by baby-bloomers who seem to reproduce so very effortlessly.

Is this what life does to us as we grow up and age?

Maybe this all is all God’s plans – personal tragedies, familial diseases and financial struggles.

If it is, should I then abide by it or swim against the flow just as I have done my whole life?

Well it's alright
And It's alright
Who are you and me to say
What's wrong and what's right
Do you still feel like me
We sit down here
And we shall see
We can talk
And find common ground
And we can just forget
About feeling down
We can just forget
About life in this town.

- D'Yer wanna be a spaceman, Oasis, 1994.


Read more!