University Days: The Day I Was Declared Indecent

It was a day like any other, or so I thought.

We came back from swimming like we always did.

Our hair was still drenched and irritatingly grassy from the heavily chlorinated water of the UM swimming pool, except for Wong of course because he had no hair then.

We wasted no time and headed for the canteen.

My friends and I always had our forks and spoons in our swimming bags.

Mine was normally tucked comfortably between a worn swimming trunk and a used towel.

We made our way to the food counter in the canteen, preparing our student cards in order to collect food.


It was normally deep-fried catfish on Fridays.

The incredibly obese and bespectacled mak cik was seated as usual by the counter, halfheartedly and nonchalantly checking the students’ cards while giving a pleasant greeting.

I always appreciated her efforts to be nice and kind.

There was something different about today though.

A young Malay lass with no tudung was standing by mak cik, her arms folded across her chest in an authoritative position.

I have come to learn of this lady as a newly appointed hostel warden.

She aged no more than 24 years.

In other words, she was much younger than some of us final year students then.

She was a failed government scholar pursuing a trainee lecturer course with UM.

From afar, I could see her reprimanding some students, both Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

Some headed back to their rooms without food.

I wondered why.

We found out soon enough.

By the time our turns came to collect food, the six of us experienced Islamic hypocrisy of the highest degree.

We were chided for wearing sandals and short pants.

One of us was told off for wearing a sleeveless shirt.

We were told that our dressing was indecent and unacceptable for a Muslim nation.

Our behavior and noncompliance to the new college dressing rules was deemed unbecoming.

Our manner of dressing was allegedly promoting immoral activities within the college and posed a challenge to the Islamic faith.

We were threatened with expulsion and disciplinary action.

After a brief but lasting tongue lashing, we were sent to our rooms for a change of attire.

By then, my friends and I were already more than pissed, our appetite gone for a good reason.

We ended up eating in section 17, treating ourselves to a truly porky meal and the pleasures that came with it.

For the rest of the year, students were held and disciplined for trivial reasons like pants that hang more than two inches above the knees and sandals that do not cover enough of the feet.

All students who wanted to eat after were required to be in a ‘decent’ attire befitting of an Islamic country, even if one was soaked with sweat or feeling mighty hot after evening sports.

Meanwhile, the male wardens and their student friends continued smoking and puffing and littering cigarette buds around the hostel.

The free-hair lady warden too continued exerting her ruthless reign over students much older than her.

It was just another day in the premier university of negarakuku.