Sunday, February 24, 2008

3 Personality Traits I Love to Hate


This is perhaps the kind of people I truly despise the most. We’ve had met people who complain about their lives yet take no action to make things better. These are the folks we call whiners. No one likes a whiner. But whiners whine and sometimes their whining echo through space and time and very occasionally land on a listening ear with the guts to act. Therefore, their whining is not all for naught. A great example of the great whiners of Malaysia is the Chinese people, of which I am one myself. I hate whiners just like many other folks, but there is one personality trait that is worse and lower than whiners. These are the cowards. These are the people who whine only when no authority can hear them, for fear of being dragged out of their homes kicking and screaming to the police lock-up. Cowards have an unreasonable fear for anything with the slightest degree of power or the appearance of having such. They have a skewed perception of what is acceptable and what is not. When you start a casual conversation about religion and race and simple realities of life, they’d sweat in their pants and start looking everywhere for that supposed plainclothed ISA and Special Branch officer. If you don’t stop after ten seconds, they’d quickly hush you up and pretend they don’t know you. Cowards can be your closest friend one minute and a total stranger the next, especially when uncomfortable truths are brought out for discussion. Cowards are not people with low slef-esteem. In fact, it is very much the opposite. Cowards have an elevated sense of self-importance. They think that they deserved all that they have achieved today, without any sense of gratitude to the people that have assisted them along the way. Cowards think that the whole world is interested in what they are wearing, saying and doing. For that reason, they forbid anything ‘sensitive’ or ‘controversial’ to be discussed in public. They even have a unique and erroneous perception of what is sensitive and controversial. Cowards may go quite far along in life due to their extreme cautiousness and paranoia. As they progressed however, their cowardice increases and makes them all the more despicable.


Call them liars or smooth-talkers, conmen or frauds, hypocrites or phonies. There is no better term for such personalities apart from the blunt ‘bull shitters’. They are found in every profession and not just politics and religion. The phony preacher and the big-talking politician are in a basket to their own. They say things the gullible believer and naïve voter desire to hear but at then end of the day does little damage except for the swindling of differing sums of money. Preachers and politicians are but the most novice of liars because people see them through but still choose to buy their words. The second basket of bull crappers are typified by the smooth-talking salesperson and fact-twisting lawyer. You don’t know you’re being conned until you’ve bought the product or insurance or car or ended up behind bars because your loud-talking, chest-thumping attorney was in cohorts with the opposite party. By the time you know it and before you can utter the F word and swear at their mothers, they are beyond your grasp with a 60-foot pole. You end up feeling like a loser – all sore and stupid for swallowing their every word. The top class of liars in my arbitrary classification is formed by the politically-correct diplomat, the flattering playboy, and the Sabah state neurosurgeon. The diplomat tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. The ugly-looking, hispid Casanova screws around, gathers some STDs and then shares some of it with you. Instead of hating him, one falls deeper in love. Lastly, the self-proclaimed India-trained neurosurgeon will see your CT scan and says you have a very operable brain tumor when it is fact an arteriovenous malformation. He promises a rosy future and a super favorable outcome then proceeds to mess up your brain. You end up bed-ridden, as mobile as cow dung in a den of dung bettles. You can’t thank him at all cos you’re on a tracheostomy and a feeding tube. Your family will however, in so much gratitude that your younger sister is sleeping with the neurosurgeon’s hairy chested lover-boy apprentice. Bull-shitters – they’re everywhere.

Ass-kissers: Enough said. Some also lick and smell, though.

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