Career Guidance with P.O.T.S

Aspiring doctor Joanne read my UMS posting and exclaimed:

Oh my god! I have just made my application to UMS! Can i know how long is the study duration fot medicine? How many years do i need to endure? XD

This is my humble reply.


Dear Joanne,

Thank you for reading and inspiring this post.

I apologise sincerely if I have inadvertently created a negative impression even before you are in University Malaysia Sabah (UMS).

The medical program in UMS is five years, just like all other local public universities.

The process of learning and training to be a medical doctor in UMS have gotten more difficult in the last one year due to the closure of the Queen Elizabeth Hospital.

I was told that medical students are now dispatched to Sandakan, Tawau and Kota Belud since some disciplines have shifted their services to the hospitals there.

Anyway, I think your best source of information should not be a socio-political blogger but someone who has gone through the UMS medical program.

Instead of enlightening you about the life of a medical student and doctor, I would instead advise you to think carefully before jumping into the medical bandwagon.

Be a doctor only if you are really interested in medicine and not because your parents are.

Asian families are still very stuck in the conventional thinking of going for professional careers if their children do well academically.

In all honesty, I think we need more smart and creative people outside the circle of medicine.

I might not have said this years ago when I just completed my STPM, but the truth is this – there’s a whole lot of interesting careers out there apart from medicine.

If you are artistic with an imaginative mind, you can always go into filmmaking and wildlife photography. You can produce photo essays for Time magazine or capture scenes of a honey bear enjoying a sunbath for the National Geographic Society. After all, we need to immortalize all these wonderful creatures of God in digital media before the China Chinese devour them all.

If you are into music, do consider a career in the genre of trance. You just might taste worldwide fame not unlike prominent deejays such as Chicane, Darude and Fatboy Slim. Stay out of jazz though. I find it super gay.

Medicine should very much be left to boring and bored souls like myself. Or maybe medicine turned me into a boring and bored person.

Shrug…

Oh yeah, don’t forget sports and athletics. I doubt Datuk Lee Chong Wei and Datuk Nicol David ever regretted choosing their career paths. Just don’t choose football and lawn bowling though. The first is reserved for mentally-challenged intravenous drug users while the second is just plain lame.

Just between you and me, I am constantly dreaming of the life that could have been if I were a professional skateboarder.

The food business is always lucrative and rewarding, even in times of economic crisis. I have already garnered enough capital to open up my very own aquaculture farm. I am still on the lookout for a potential UMNO crony since land is increasingly scarce and in high demand. Do consider the vegetarian food sector. You will be amazed how some people are willing to fork out ridiculous cash just to bite into a shrimp-looking tofu that tastes like, well, tofu.

Money is also abundant in share and currency trading. My cousins are driving fancy cars and feasting in vegetarian outlets way beyond my salary as a doctor, and they are not even vegetarians.

Of course, it’s not all about the money.

Sometimes it’s about the karma and divine retribution.

One can serve the church and God too. You would need a certain degree of vocal prowess and eloquence to thrive in the ministry. Success will come soon enough and it ain’t only in the form of heavenly treasures. Just don’t molest the altar boys and get caught doing so.

When all else fails, you can always go into Malaysian politics. If someone like Muhammad I-Speak-No-English Taib can amass millions without a useful academic qualification, so can you. There might be a window of opportunity in Bukit Lanjan soon. There, you can’t say I didn’t tell you so.

After this long winded reply, if you are still keen to do per rectal examinations for life as a medical doctor, I will still cheer you on and welcome you on board.

Rest assured if you are somehow not up to the mark in clinical practice, you can always join Dr. Rikki in the logistics of quality healthcare.

All the best.